On Friday afternoon we left Kunming and flew to Guangzhou. This is where the US consulate is that issues immigrant visas for adoptions, so all adoptive families must travel through Guangzhou. There are many other adoptive families here, which is nice. Many of them we have met or connected with on facebook before we traveled. It is nice to have English conversations with people going through similar experiences. The weather in Guangzhou is not like Kunming at all. It is very hot and humid, much like Florida. The weather hasn’t been so bad for Tom and I because we are used to this climate. The city is very big with over 14 million people. The state of North Carolina only has just over 10 million in the entire state. The area surrounding our hotel is very lit up at night and beautiful.
Ellie did pretty well during her first flight. She fussed some for take off and landing, but overall did fine. The flight was less than two hours and a short practice for our big 15.5 hour flight coming up in a few days. Regardless of how that flight goes, it will be totally worth it because Ellie’s US citizenship and our boys will waiting at the end of that journey.
On Saturday we woke up and very quickly enjoyed the breakfast buffet at our hotel. We have called it Breakfast Wonderland. There is pretty much anything you can imagine for breakfast available, and since it is a very internationally accommodating hotel, there are a few things you probably wouldn’t imagine, like fried chicken and soup. We took Ellie to her immigration medical appointment. The point of this is mostly to check that her physical exam matches what is listed in her file and that she does not appear to have communicable disease. A doctor read over her file, performed a medical exam, and then she saw an ENT who examined her eyes, ears, nose, and throat. They then obtained her height and weight. Fully clothed and with shoes on she was 16.5lbs. We were able to skip some of the other stations, so I’m not sure what they did in those. She is under two years old, so we did not have to have a tuberculosis test done or any vaccinations. We have an affidavit stating we will address her immunizations when we get home. We have her immunization card from the orphanage and will get help translating that. Her pediatrician will determine if it will be better to repeat certain vaccines or draw titers to determine her immunity.
After the medical exam we returned to the hotel and had lunch with another adoptive family. For the first time since Ellie has been with us, we were able to accommodate a real nap. She slept pretty late though and we ended up having to wake her up at 4:30 to have dinner with another adoptive family. Because Ellie slept so late yesterday she was not at all interested in going to bed last night. We finally all fell asleep around 10:30, but she was up some with what appeared to be night terrors throughout the night. Night terrors are common for newly adopted children, a result of the big changes they have experienced.
Today we went to a park in Guangzhou and saw a famous statue of five goats. There is an associated legend with the statue and how the early people of Guangzhou were saved from starvation. The park was not as nice as the one in Kunming, but it did have some similarities. There were groups of retired people playing hacky sack all around. Our guide told us that in China, women retire at 50 years old and men retire at 55, unless they are some type of engineer, then it is 5 years later for them. She said some of the retired people care for their grandchildren during the day, but many just spend time in the park recreating. From the park we went to the pearl market. This place is like a full size mall, except completely full of jewelry. It was fun to look at! Guangzhou is known for it’s pearl industry, so we bought a necklace for Ellie when she is much older and bracelet for her to wear now. After an easy lunch in our hotel room we put Ellie down for a nap, but we definitely didn’t let her sleep as long today! After nap we checked out the pool for Ellie’s first pool experience! She loved it! We attempted McDonald’s for dinner, but accidentally ordered a box of varying types of spicy chicken. I guess it just wasn’t meant to be. We made it up to ourselves with some ice cream from the 7-11 :-)
Bonding is going about the same or maybe slightly better. Ellie is content being held by Tom. She will still occasionally allow me to hold her very briefly, if I can distract her. She likes to look at jewelry in shop windows, so we have done some of that. She prefers Tom to push her stroller, but will occasionally be ok if I do it. She smiles at me more and is allowing me to feed her a little more while Tom holds her, as long as she isn’t too tired. Our guide in Kunming thinks I remind her of her nannies which upsets her and our guide in Guangzhou suggested it may be because Tom has black hair and I don’t. It could be these or any other reason. It has been hard wanting to hold her and play with her, but she’s just not ready. She mostly cries when I hold her, which is tough, especially when I’m missing snuggles with Graham and Charlie at the same time. For now we are just moving at her pace. This behavior is incredibly common for adopted toddlers and the time frame for adjustment varies. It’s hard to not take it personally, but I have to keep reminding myself that she is experiencing a HUGE life change and doesn’t understand any of it. If clinging to Tom makes her feel safe right now, then that’s what she needs. She slept in our bed last night because of the night terrors and Tom said she was snuggled up to me in her sleep for a really long time. She also let me snuggle with her before she was fully awake from her nap. We decided she subconsciously likes me. She does prefer me to strangers, so we’re making progress.
Graham and Charlie flew up to Greensboro with my parents on Saturday. They will stay there until we get back. The change of scenery may be good for them. It seems they are doing well with us being away. Graham asks for us frequently, but understands where we are. They will get to see more family this week, so that will be a good distraction.
Please continue to pray for Graham and Charlie. Ellie is feeling much better, but will need continued prayers as she deals with all the changes going on. Please continue to pray for my relationship with her and that she will continue to make positive progress in attachment. Continue to pray for Tom as he continues to provide the bulk of Ellie’s hands-on care.
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